I had an exceptional weekend. Friday I tested the theory that Western women are excluded from the meat-market that is the Pig Pen. Saturday Carolyn came out with us and we went to the Londoner where we practised pole-dancing around this guy who bought us drinks to show is gratitude. Curtis came in and gave him a massive filfthy, apparently, and then the guy started rapping about how Curtis gave him a filfthy. This Texan hotty, whose father is in the oil business, was interested in Carolyn but she was like "get away". I was busy talking to this Quebecois who told me all about Thailand. He recommended not sleeping on the beach in Thailand, but getting a bungalow for like fifty cents a day. Curtis and Chris were like 'yeah this guy is a dick' because he was showing off about how much he knew but I didn't think he was that bad.

After the Londoner we headed off to Buddy's. I lost my scooter-accident virginity. I slid off the back of Carolyn's scooter and well it all seemed to happen in slow motion. Like, I could feel it happening the second before it happened, you know when all you can do is think oh I'm definitely falling off the scooter here so I better see how I can quickly adjust my body to minimise injuries. Carolyn freaked and I would have too but I was drunk so it was all fun and games.

The only thing is that I tore a hole in my black pants. This is a serious predicament, because I cannot buy pants in Taiwan thanks to my fat Western ass, and I wore them at least 17 times a week. Between 8:30 and 9:00 every Friday and Saturday evening without fail, I would hop out of the shower, contemplate wearing something different, then give in to the power of those black pants, which called out to me saying "wear me, let's face it, you haven't shaved your legs, and you've got nothing else to wear, and black makes you look thinner, so you have no choice, Liz, but to just do it."  ¶ 20:44