On Sunday night I had dinner at Karina's house. Mel is having her wisdom teeth out and she's terrified. She's even going up to Mum's so mum can look after her for a few days. I don't see the big deal really. Mum messaged me this morning to ask me to go to Macquarie St in the city tomorrow morning to go be there for Mel. But frankly if I ever had my wisdom teeth out as if she would come. I left the country for a year and she couldn't take the day off to come to the airport. So yeah that's my squabble.

Last night I had a beer with Phuong from work. I tried on the jeans I bought in Taiwan six months ago and they really really don't fit now, that's how much weight I've put on thanks to Risperidone. That drug can cause drooling as well, so while reality has never had so much clarity you're left with excess saliva all through your mouth to enjoy it with.

Today I'm meeting the lady who want to offer me a job speaking Chinese to her customers. Then I'm going to play cards in Potts Point with Rose and co.  ¶ 16:08 0 Comments

  Edit

On behalf of Mark I'm taking back everything he said about not having sex with me ah ha ha ha hah ha ha hah aaaaaa. Aaaaaa.

On Monday I had a few drinks with who else but Mark. Tuesday my housemate taught me how to play Grand Theft Auto which is a really good game but I'm too slow so I always get shot or beaten up by the police. Wednesday I went to the Establishment with who else but Mark. Then we went up three levels to Hemesphere where we each had a twenty dollar cocktail. On Thursday Phuong from work came to work while I was working and kept me company for the rest of my otherwise boring shift, then came to Erskineville to meet Rose and a friend where we had a couple of drinks. Last night my other housemate made roast goat so I roasted some veges for the first time in my life.

It's the twenty fifth of June, which means there's only 22 days till I enrol back at uni. Thank god! I'm so bored with my life right now, will it ever be meaningful or exciting again? Oh my god, early life crisis. I can't wait to get back to uni. I'm still waiting to hear back from the arts faculty about my credit, they better frickin give it to me otherwise I'll kick up the biggest stink they've ever smelt in their boring arts faculty worker lives.

I'm reading a tale of two cities at the moment, getting into it when I really really have nothing else to do. He keeps introducing new characters and because I'm so dumb I get confused and this turns me off. Speaking of how dumb I am, I can't even fill out goverment department application forms in which you have to answer really fucking hard questions using sophisticated language, and answer them well, just so they can seperate the wheat from the what do you call it, Raff or something. I AM THE WHEAT GOD DAMMIT. Just don't make me humiliate myself with really bad answers that don't demonstrate how I meet the selection criteria. I wonder how everyone that gets in answers. They must be really perfect people. Basically you have to be a god. Who are these perfect people? Did they go to private schools where they run Application Forms 101 courses? Hey that's an idea, they should have a course like that at uni. It's just not fair.  ¶ 15:11 0 Comments

  here I am at the establishment, typing on marks stat of the art mobile phone, whpich ill be designing one day as an industrial designer. mark just said that there are five million people who want to design phones, but only five who do. according to him. the remaining four million nine hundred...etc eat mandarin sandwiches all day. also, if I don't laugh at his jokes, he's going to beat me and take away the phone priveleges that I now enjoy. sorry mark, but someone's gotta break it to you that you're just not that funny.
Liz only says that because I won't have sex with her - Mark.  ¶ 19:20 0 Comments

  I just handed in my credit application forms. I also applied for 48 rather than 40 points, which means I'll only have to do three subjects next semester anyway.

As for my career, I don't know what to do anymore. Here I am stuck with this degree in Chinese at age 21 and to do anything I'm going to have to go back to uni for another three years. I looked on the Qantas website, and Mandarin is at the top of the list of languages to have if you want to be a flight attendant. So when I finish I'll investigate that a little further. In the meantime I'll start an Industrial Design degree at UTS to tide me through. Better studying than working in a cafe, which is what I will be doing when I graduate unless I start something else.  ¶ 12:43 0 Comments

  Here I am at Sydney University library. It's Saturday afternoon and tonight Rose and I are going to see a film at the Sydney film festival. Mark rang me at one today and I was still in bed. He wanted me to come to the Blue Mountains for a magic festival or something but I couldn't make it although I really wanted to. Sorry Marky Mark.

Good news on the uni front. You're allowed to do four subjects at a time, so now it's a fifty percent chance I'll graduate at the end of this year. I figure seeing as though there is a very small likelihood of my getting a job/career, I'll go back to China and study Chinese there for a year or so, get really really fluent, and therefore more employable, then come back and study something else.

I heard back from the government department I applied for, my application was unsuccessful unfortunately, but it's probably for the best.  ¶ 15:23 0 Comments

  Hello there. On Wednesday night I had a few drinks with Mark. I asked him when we were going to sleep with each other again, and he said never. Never! There goes my backup root. Just kidding Mark. It's not that I hung around him just for sex. I count him as a friend, a friend who I would occasionally have sex with. Well, now our friendship has "transcended" to a new level, no sex, just the occasional meeting at a cafe or pub as normal people do. I can't deny suddenly feeling totally unattractive when he said that though. Such is life. Does anyone out there want to fuck me? You must be

a) tall
b)handsome
c) experienced
d) in the state of mind where you simply can't get enough of me

Sorry Mum

On Thursday night I had a couple of drinks with Rose at the Coopers Arms. Then I bid her a teary farewell as she has gone to Melbourne for three whole days. I am completely devastated and I'm going to set up camp outside her house for a few days still she gets back.

Last night I just chatted with my housemate for a couple of hours and now I'm at my Dad's house (my other Dad not the one in Tamworth). He's watching TV and I'm on the computer (obviously). I just emailed my Chinese professor about making an appointment to give her the new transcript which arrived in the mail a couple of days ago. I was worried that it would somehow get lost in the post or something i.e. the worst would happen, but it didn't, it's safely sitting on my desk at home, oh precious transcript.

Oh, precious transcript
Oh, how I need you
Oh, precious transcript
You are the one and only
Precious transcript

I started reading A Tale of Two Cities the other day. It starts off with a girl being reunited with her father who had spent years and years in jail. My feet stink.  ¶ 15:25 0 Comments

  The Most Boring Post I've Ever Written, Boo Hoo



I'm working Monday to Friday this week, dumbly agreeing to it to be nice but really dreading actually doing it. It's so boring and I do need to earn the money but I don't need to earn it that fast.

My mind has been playing tricks on me, doing strange things at work. Like, it's really really quiet, and there's always a song stuck in my head, and what happens is, my mind associates different tasks at work with different people or songs or memories. When I stand there and replace squeezy tomato sauces into the rack, I think of the song "what if god was one of us." It's weird, it happens every time. When I'm getting chips out of the storeroom, I think of going to Shanghai. When I stand facing the till, I think of Taiwan. Lots more examples, just can't think of them right now. What else do I think about at work? I think about doing law like I said, I think about what time I'll start packing up so I can leave earlier than I'm supposed to, and I think about what I'm going to do with the money I'm earning, and when I'll go to China again, and France, and what will happen if I do or don't get the credit for Taiwan. I think work gives me too much time to think. It's addictive coz of the money but it's not enjoyable and I don't like it but that doesn't mean it's not bearable, my boss is a legend and the people are nice.

Let's talk about the weekend. I went up to Gosford on Saturday to have my final sewing class. I made a spiffy white handbag which I love and admire greatly. Later I had a couple of beers with Rose and some hot chips and spoke a little Chinese to the kitchen staff. The next day I went to Karina's to get my birthday presents. She gave me a hair straightening wand and some little hair ties and things.

I think work is turning my brain into mush, my brain is turning into mush anyway, even at home, because in the morning I lie in bed semi-awake and have lots of dreams which I can totally remember after I wake up. It's not like I wake up anyway, because I'm hardly asleep when I'm having them anyway. This computer is so fucking annoying, there's a delay between when you type and when the letters appear on the screen and it's ruining the divine blogging experience. So what was I saying before I rudely interrupted myself. That's right, I'm dreaming about everything and everyone I know and I think what is happening is that I'll be awake and thinking about something, then I'll fall asleep again and dream about whatever I was thinking about. And vice versa.

Tunghai is sending me the second transcript thank god. There's still one more hurdle though - course outlines. So it's still 50 - 50 about getting credit. If I do get credit, Ill try to enrol in four subjects. If they let me, I'll graduate at then end of this year. If they don't, I won't and I'll be stuck doing two subjects next year and finishing half way through when nothing's going on and I can't start new degrees. So I have a 25% chance of graduating at the end of this year. If I'm stuck doing at uni next year aswell, I'll see if I can go to China for six months and maybe get some more credit there studying Chinese. If I graduate with no job and no law enrolment, I'll do a sucky journalism course for one year. Oh, the uncertainty!

So what am aI doing witg my life RIGHT NOW? I'm deciding whether to rush home for Big Brother at seven or stay a little longer and blog some more. No I think I'll rush home for Big Borther.

Love and Glorious Appellations  ¶ 18:01 0 Comments

  Well after the movie on Saturday I had a short panic attack about what I was going to do for the rest of the night but I called Ella and ended up going to a party in Bronte. It was a bit of a hippy party and people were playing drums and banging percussion instruments so I grabbed a tambourine and got jiggy with it. We stayed for about two hours then went home. Lucky, coz I had left my hand0made gnocchi out in the kitchen and I had to put it away before the blue cheese sauce went off.

I've just been working this week. It's so boring now, there's nothing to do, so in the essence of Dancer in the Dark, I've started day-dreaming about what I'm going to do with my life while I work. I reach up to get chips off the shelves in the storeroom and imagine myself in Shangahi, looking for a lucky break in journalism but ending up teaching English there anyway, or moving to Canberra to study law where it's easy to get in. Other times I stand there and stare at the chocolate aisle which directly faces the cafe section where I work. There are 100 different items in that aisle. I counted them. There are also 76 tiles on the floor of the cafe section. I counted those too.

I heard back from the uni in Taiwan again. I had to ask them for a new transcript and after two long weeks of suspense, I heard back from them, and they're sending me one. Which means I'll get credit for Taiwan, which means I can graduate at the end of this year. Most of my worries seem to be over now. Yay!  ¶ 13:30 0 Comments