Love at First Web Site
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
I'm so bad. First I get up after midday like three days in a row, then when I go register for temp work in the city, I decide to go into this massive Supre store where I just knew I'd find something I'd like and buy it. So I did, it's a black dress I can wear to work, adding number two to my vast collection of outfits for work. Ahhh. Then I decided that to pay for it, I'll just not buy fifty bucks worth of cigarettes, i.e. four packets, so I'm now quitting smoking again, just for two weeks anyway. Actually, I'm going to use reverse psychology on myself and tell myself that in no way am I trying to quit smoking, I'm just not buying a new packet straight away. No pressure, see? So really, I'm not quitting smoking.
Oh also, that French movie I saw last night was shocking, terrible, I absolutely hated it and if Dave and I had more of a rapport I would have suggested walking out.
And I pooped into oops I mean popped into a language school in the city, looked at the textbooks they use for advanced mandarin, and realised my chinese language skills are [cue poshy English accent] far too superior to be spending my money there. Anyway it's amazing what you can achieve once you get out of bed.
Shopping for clothes and language schools is a great passtime, I should put that on my rsvp.com profile. Interests: buying new outfits for new life as a trendy receptionist in north sydney. Dad said I wouldn't meet a boyfriend studying Chinese in Taiwan, it's putting myself out of the loop and I should do normal stuff like play sport. Well maybe when I have the money to spend $20/week on learning to play squash or something, which I'll never do because I have no coordination. Rockclimbing is expensive and no offense to Rose and Co. but all the men that do it seem like long-haired extreme-backpacking lanky hippy types! What other sports are there? Team sports? Nup, noone ever passes the ball to me haha actually that was just the dickhead boys at Epping Heights Primary. Swimming? Nope, no interaction. Ballroom dancing? Now that's an idea. Must do it secretly so annoying former maths tutor doesn't find me and continue to annoy me. What else is there? Indoor cricket? But you know all the people that I would find would be losers just like me who are only doing it for something to do.
OK finally I would like to announce that I'm going down to Tumut next Wed-Nez-Day and will come home with a computer which means internet at home, which means incessant blogging and general surfing etc. So get ready to READ! ¶ 15:14 0 Comments
Oh also, that French movie I saw last night was shocking, terrible, I absolutely hated it and if Dave and I had more of a rapport I would have suggested walking out.
And I pooped into oops I mean popped into a language school in the city, looked at the textbooks they use for advanced mandarin, and realised my chinese language skills are [cue poshy English accent] far too superior to be spending my money there. Anyway it's amazing what you can achieve once you get out of bed.
Shopping for clothes and language schools is a great passtime, I should put that on my rsvp.com profile. Interests: buying new outfits for new life as a trendy receptionist in north sydney. Dad said I wouldn't meet a boyfriend studying Chinese in Taiwan, it's putting myself out of the loop and I should do normal stuff like play sport. Well maybe when I have the money to spend $20/week on learning to play squash or something, which I'll never do because I have no coordination. Rockclimbing is expensive and no offense to Rose and Co. but all the men that do it seem like long-haired extreme-backpacking lanky hippy types! What other sports are there? Team sports? Nup, noone ever passes the ball to me haha actually that was just the dickhead boys at Epping Heights Primary. Swimming? Nope, no interaction. Ballroom dancing? Now that's an idea. Must do it secretly so annoying former maths tutor doesn't find me and continue to annoy me. What else is there? Indoor cricket? But you know all the people that I would find would be losers just like me who are only doing it for something to do.
OK finally I would like to announce that I'm going down to Tumut next Wed-Nez-Day and will come home with a computer which means internet at home, which means incessant blogging and general surfing etc. So get ready to READ! ¶ 15:14 0 Comments
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Finally got out of bed at half past midday, feeling depressed that I was no longer capable of closing my eyes to continue having morning dreams. Had coffee with Ella. Tonight am going to see 'Hidden' with Dave from rsvp.com, happy to remain friends with him. He's been in the army since he was 17 and he seems a bit sheltered from civilian reality and bery young at heart while I myself already feel like an old lady. But he's a nice guy.
OK CIAO
Lizwa
P.S. AFP testing next Tuesday!
P.P.S. Nathan at work told me I was so cool and he loved me and about how he went home and told his boyfriend about how cool I was. So work at Freedom socially is very good right now but I still want to leave because I was not cut out to be a saleswoman. So hard to tear myself away but must for sanity and quality of life. ¶ 14:29 0 Comments
OK CIAO
Lizwa
P.S. AFP testing next Tuesday!
P.P.S. Nathan at work told me I was so cool and he loved me and about how he went home and told his boyfriend about how cool I was. So work at Freedom socially is very good right now but I still want to leave because I was not cut out to be a saleswoman. So hard to tear myself away but must for sanity and quality of life. ¶ 14:29 0 Comments
Monday, May 29, 2006
This morning (afternoon) after I woke up I gave Pam a history lesson about the two world wars, she thought the holocaust was in world war one etc so I gave her a brief rundown. Then we got onto the subject of The Diary of Anne Frank, then we had an argument over the meaning of the word poignant. She won. I don't think Anne Frank is poignant. Cloudstreet is poignant, but not Anne Frank. Oh well. Anyway we looked it up in the dictionary and stuff. I thought poignant is when something sad or tragic happens but it's treated differently by the author eg in a lighthearted or more subtle manner, followed by something happy happening or something. Hmmm. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away oops no I mean yesterday, she gave me a birthday present which was a brown scarf from Sportsgirl and a really nice card in which she wrote that my beauty and loveliness needs to be broadcast to the world. Then I considered taking it literally and trying out for big brother. Nah. I would never be able to compete with the loudmouthed bimbos and wankers that go on that show. Anyway the card was so nice that I had to go back to my room and read it again just to soak it in a little more.
Bee bup bup bado bup
and in the words of my sister Melanie, "Ok, BYE." ¶ 14:03 0 Comments
Bee bup bup bado bup
and in the words of my sister Melanie, "Ok, BYE." ¶ 14:03 0 Comments
Friday, May 26, 2006
Tore myself out of bed at 2:30pm so I could come up the road and pay my rent. Ahh, the good life. Have decided to leave Freedom ASAP, must have my weekends once I am a working woman.
I actually got up at twelve first to have cereal, a mandarin, and a cigarette. Then went back to bed coz I had nothing better to do.
Blah blah blag oh i got a 'kiss' from a cute guy who's been overseas for four years well actually he's wearing sunnies but he's on a chairlift in the snow so that is cool enough. Damn, forgot to check his height. Must do that.
I had a dream I had to alliterate as much as possible. It was like a job interview or something.
I also had raunchy sex dreams which confirm that I'm not a lesbian and this bizarre (as always) dream that there was this ride where you held on to long strings suspended high up in the air and you just swung around and tried not to let go, otherwise you would fall and die, unless you had a parachute on. In the dream, I couldn't keep hold of the string because there was no special handle attached to it so I fell but I landed on my feet running, like the way Dave described landing after jumping out of a plane.
SHUTUP FLANDERS
OKILY DOKILY! ¶ 16:05 0 Comments
I actually got up at twelve first to have cereal, a mandarin, and a cigarette. Then went back to bed coz I had nothing better to do.
Blah blah blag oh i got a 'kiss' from a cute guy who's been overseas for four years well actually he's wearing sunnies but he's on a chairlift in the snow so that is cool enough. Damn, forgot to check his height. Must do that.
I had a dream I had to alliterate as much as possible. It was like a job interview or something.
I also had raunchy sex dreams which confirm that I'm not a lesbian and this bizarre (as always) dream that there was this ride where you held on to long strings suspended high up in the air and you just swung around and tried not to let go, otherwise you would fall and die, unless you had a parachute on. In the dream, I couldn't keep hold of the string because there was no special handle attached to it so I fell but I landed on my feet running, like the way Dave described landing after jumping out of a plane.
SHUTUP FLANDERS
OKILY DOKILY! ¶ 16:05 0 Comments
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Tore myself out of bed prematurely this morning to start work at nine. A fucking crime! Made two large sales, may have reached my budget. Was reminded that I am doing stocktake there on Monday night, tried to get out of it, and any more trying would lead to sourness. So cannot go to Tumut as planned, sorry Kate!
Got the job, $31 000 a year, am not as excited as I should be. Pay is better than nothing. The job in Lane Cove was 35 but I watched the receptionist doing her job while I waited and decided I didn't want to be in her shoes. The phone rang too much - it rang less at ISS. Want to leave Freedom already because have been offered temp work before the job starts on July 3, but feel bad so am putting it off. So spent day worrying about what to do while walking around the store thinking of things I can get for Rose and Marcin's wedding present!!!!!
Have semi-promised to go to China with neighbour at end of year, will feel bad leaving new job after six months. What to do? All these dilemmas. No doubt this post will spur a dozen more irritating sms's from my mum telling me what to do with my life and how to run it etc.
Last night me and Pam went shopping at Coles Maroubra (note, not Coles Randwick!) to stock up on LCMs and chocolate. I ate five LCM bars in the space of an hour, which pretty much means one every twelve minutes.
Have started reading Cloud Street which was recommended to me back when I was at Gossy High.
Last night Pam said I don't talk much and my life isn't very 'happening'. She also said that friends have told her she has no tact. We also talked about what makes a good friend, and I failed to mention that friends don't put each other down! But she means well. A depressing conversation all up.
In other news I made a lamb casserole. Mmmm.
My aim is to save one third of my salary from July to January. Can she do it?
OK for posterity's sake, here's is my imagined weekly budget:
Rent &137
Cigarrettes (let's not kid ourselves here) $25
Internet $5
Groceries $30
Eating out/coffees $40
Transport to work $40
Phone $12
That's already $279 a week.
Weekly income will be: $596
Minus tax: don't know.
One third of income will be: $198
So 198 + 279 equals $477, which leaves $119 for tax. So please inform the ATO that that is all I can afford to pay, sorry.
Oh wait rent is 127 so add another ten dollars to that. But minus about another fifty that I will spend on shit like new books, clothes, petrol, which I failed to include, and more coffee and alchohole. Make that 100. Fuck that man! ¶ 17:48 0 Comments
Got the job, $31 000 a year, am not as excited as I should be. Pay is better than nothing. The job in Lane Cove was 35 but I watched the receptionist doing her job while I waited and decided I didn't want to be in her shoes. The phone rang too much - it rang less at ISS. Want to leave Freedom already because have been offered temp work before the job starts on July 3, but feel bad so am putting it off. So spent day worrying about what to do while walking around the store thinking of things I can get for Rose and Marcin's wedding present!!!!!
Have semi-promised to go to China with neighbour at end of year, will feel bad leaving new job after six months. What to do? All these dilemmas. No doubt this post will spur a dozen more irritating sms's from my mum telling me what to do with my life and how to run it etc.
Last night me and Pam went shopping at Coles Maroubra (note, not Coles Randwick!) to stock up on LCMs and chocolate. I ate five LCM bars in the space of an hour, which pretty much means one every twelve minutes.
Have started reading Cloud Street which was recommended to me back when I was at Gossy High.
Last night Pam said I don't talk much and my life isn't very 'happening'. She also said that friends have told her she has no tact. We also talked about what makes a good friend, and I failed to mention that friends don't put each other down! But she means well. A depressing conversation all up.
In other news I made a lamb casserole. Mmmm.
My aim is to save one third of my salary from July to January. Can she do it?
OK for posterity's sake, here's is my imagined weekly budget:
Rent &137
Cigarrettes (let's not kid ourselves here) $25
Internet $5
Groceries $30
Eating out/coffees $40
Transport to work $40
Phone $12
That's already $279 a week.
Weekly income will be: $596
Minus tax: don't know.
One third of income will be: $198
So 198 + 279 equals $477, which leaves $119 for tax. So please inform the ATO that that is all I can afford to pay, sorry.
Oh wait rent is 127 so add another ten dollars to that. But minus about another fifty that I will spend on shit like new books, clothes, petrol, which I failed to include, and more coffee and alchohole. Make that 100. Fuck that man! ¶ 17:48 0 Comments
Monday, May 22, 2006
Had birthday on weekend, countless Long Island Iced Teas and shouted drinks. Threw up on Oxford St, out of taxi window, and in toilet before work. Came home from work, will be broke next week after spending $150 on an outfit to wear to interviews this week. Had my first interview today at Australian Catholic Uni's International Student Services Office. Everything from filing to assessing applications so it will be varied and more interesting than simple reception on it's own. The woman who interviewed me turned out to be the partner of my first-year Chinese teacher at Sydney uni. It's such a small world. I hope I get the job, even though it doesn't start till end of June... DAMN! Will be poor for next four weeks. Fuck. Shit.
Had my RSVP.com date on Friday. We seem to get along fine and are having Chinese for dinner in Randwick tomorrow. Yummy. Name is Dave.
Have two more interviews tomorrow but I want the one that I interviewed for today.
Wore my lovely new suit, feel like Marge Simpson, as it is my only suit and I will no doubt be wearing it everyday.
Really want this job, so everybody who's reading this please pray for me.
I'm hungry. Haven't felt hungry in ages, because I'm always stuffing my face before I get the chance to feel hungry.
Had lunch with mum in the city today, she bought me a shirt for work.
OK going home to stuff face. Pray for me.
LOVE LIZWACKA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ¶ 18:25 0 Comments
Had my RSVP.com date on Friday. We seem to get along fine and are having Chinese for dinner in Randwick tomorrow. Yummy. Name is Dave.
Have two more interviews tomorrow but I want the one that I interviewed for today.
Wore my lovely new suit, feel like Marge Simpson, as it is my only suit and I will no doubt be wearing it everyday.
Really want this job, so everybody who's reading this please pray for me.
I'm hungry. Haven't felt hungry in ages, because I'm always stuffing my face before I get the chance to feel hungry.
Had lunch with mum in the city today, she bought me a shirt for work.
OK going home to stuff face. Pray for me.
LOVE LIZWACKA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ¶ 18:25 0 Comments
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
I'm Free To Do What I Want Any Old Time
I'm on my one-hour break at Coles, I think it's unpaid. Last night I discussed my future with the people downstairs, and decided to go to China at the end of the year, if I hurry up and get a full time job and save just a couple of thousand buckeroonies. Marissa is doing a winter in Kunming then wants to hang out in Beijing for a few months and yeah we could be there at the same time.
I'm trying to quit smoking again. Must remember to buy milk so I can have a cup of tea everytime I want a cigarette. Day One, Dude. THen there's the nicorette stuff that Kate left me (thanks Kate!)
Some people who hadn't had showers in a while came into work and I didn't know what to do, I had to do everything with one hand because the other was busy covering my mouth and nose. THen there are people who expect you to swipe their cards for them because they are too scared to. Then there are the people that want two bags to carry one box of cereal and a jar of peanut butter.
I'm trying not to spend money on food but I just get hungry and thirsty and bascially need to feed my poor face.
I'm not that free to do what I want, it's just that no study means no study and no homework and no pressure or deadlines. Hmmmm nice.
Well looks like there's going to be a bigger showing for my 22nd than my 21st! Ha ha. This year its at the um I better not say just in case Mark is reading and he turns up.
Anyway it's going to be exciting. I bought another scratchy today and didn't win anything as usual but I still spend alot of time thinking about what I would do with just $25000.
OK scratch ya later dude!
Love,
Lizwa ¶ 17:30 0 Comments
I'm on my one-hour break at Coles, I think it's unpaid. Last night I discussed my future with the people downstairs, and decided to go to China at the end of the year, if I hurry up and get a full time job and save just a couple of thousand buckeroonies. Marissa is doing a winter in Kunming then wants to hang out in Beijing for a few months and yeah we could be there at the same time.
I'm trying to quit smoking again. Must remember to buy milk so I can have a cup of tea everytime I want a cigarette. Day One, Dude. THen there's the nicorette stuff that Kate left me (thanks Kate!)
Some people who hadn't had showers in a while came into work and I didn't know what to do, I had to do everything with one hand because the other was busy covering my mouth and nose. THen there are people who expect you to swipe their cards for them because they are too scared to. Then there are the people that want two bags to carry one box of cereal and a jar of peanut butter.
I'm trying not to spend money on food but I just get hungry and thirsty and bascially need to feed my poor face.
I'm not that free to do what I want, it's just that no study means no study and no homework and no pressure or deadlines. Hmmmm nice.
Well looks like there's going to be a bigger showing for my 22nd than my 21st! Ha ha. This year its at the um I better not say just in case Mark is reading and he turns up.
Anyway it's going to be exciting. I bought another scratchy today and didn't win anything as usual but I still spend alot of time thinking about what I would do with just $25000.
OK scratch ya later dude!
Love,
Lizwa ¶ 17:30 0 Comments
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Well here I am at age 22 working in a supermarket and being paid $16 an hour to sell furniture. That's what you get for doing an Arts degree, I told a customer at Coles. Two customers have said to me "someone's gotta do it" which is true, but the same goes for cleaning toilets and collecting garbage. I've pretty much decided not to study anymore which leaves me in the gutter career-wise but I'm hopeful about federal police which seems to be my last chance at the moment. Can't join the army till I've been off medication for at least two years. On Wednesday the careers office at UNSW is having women from the intelligence community talk about their careers, and I fucking got rostered on at Coles. I might call in sick. In fact, I will, and if they want to fire me, they bloody well can. How on earth could I miss something like that?
I graduated on Friday. I was really nervous. I saw a couple of people I used to know. One girl has got a full time job and studying a master of media studies part time the bitch. Why doesn't anyone tell me about these jobs? What the hell am I supposed to do?
Anyway afterwards I got drunk off champagne, or 'sparkling wine' according to Pam. We then had another beer then had dinner then went back to Rose's where Kuba wanted to stay up and party but I wanted to go to sleep coz I had to work at midday the next day, which is really early for me. I wish I didn't have to work on weekends. Or weekdays for that matter. I wish I didn't have to work. Kuba asked me if I wanted to see a movie with him, I said OK, and he asked for my number, and I told him to ask Rose for it, and then I drove home thinking shit what message did i just send him. I don't think i want to pursue something with him only because of the language barrier and I wasn't immediately attracted to him when I first met him.
So Pam and I are thinking of moving out together but I don't think either of us will be able to get leases, just like when Alex and I tried to move out together. I also don't want to spend that much because I want to be able to save what pittance I earn from whatever job I get and go to China. Also I once again considered going to Europe.
My birthday will be at the Hard Rock Cafe which will be nice. Mel's wants a big American style burger.
Actually I think I had five glasses of champagne. Two at uni and three or four at the bar. So that makes six. No wonder I was so drunk.
At the moment I'm chatting on msn with Dave the guy from RSVP. Speaking of RSVP, I'm this is what I added to my profile: 'must be qualified and/or experienced in female anatomy'. See how many emails I get.
Deary oh. Life is so boring right now, so boring. ¶ 18:55 0 Comments
I graduated on Friday. I was really nervous. I saw a couple of people I used to know. One girl has got a full time job and studying a master of media studies part time the bitch. Why doesn't anyone tell me about these jobs? What the hell am I supposed to do?
Anyway afterwards I got drunk off champagne, or 'sparkling wine' according to Pam. We then had another beer then had dinner then went back to Rose's where Kuba wanted to stay up and party but I wanted to go to sleep coz I had to work at midday the next day, which is really early for me. I wish I didn't have to work on weekends. Or weekdays for that matter. I wish I didn't have to work. Kuba asked me if I wanted to see a movie with him, I said OK, and he asked for my number, and I told him to ask Rose for it, and then I drove home thinking shit what message did i just send him. I don't think i want to pursue something with him only because of the language barrier and I wasn't immediately attracted to him when I first met him.
So Pam and I are thinking of moving out together but I don't think either of us will be able to get leases, just like when Alex and I tried to move out together. I also don't want to spend that much because I want to be able to save what pittance I earn from whatever job I get and go to China. Also I once again considered going to Europe.
My birthday will be at the Hard Rock Cafe which will be nice. Mel's wants a big American style burger.
Actually I think I had five glasses of champagne. Two at uni and three or four at the bar. So that makes six. No wonder I was so drunk.
At the moment I'm chatting on msn with Dave the guy from RSVP. Speaking of RSVP, I'm this is what I added to my profile: 'must be qualified and/or experienced in female anatomy'. See how many emails I get.
Deary oh. Life is so boring right now, so boring. ¶ 18:55 0 Comments
Monday, May 08, 2006
Losing Hope
Not sure about spending $24000 on studying marketing anymore. not sure about studying anything anymore, I don't think i want to or could stand to. so have called defense force recruiting and asked them about their policy on medical conditions etc. Am also preparing to apply for federal police so I took the Driver Qualification Test today and passed, thank god, to get my full licence. Just need to type up a good resume, upload it, then press 'submit'.
In other news, I got drunk at Rose's house on Friday night and had a pash with Kuba after taking lessons on how to drink vodka which actually led to my throwing up on my skirt, which I haven't washed yet, which Pam thinks is gross.
I have bought a few scratchies lately, thinking it might happen. If $25000 came my way today, I would be gone by next week! ¶ 13:28 0 Comments
Not sure about spending $24000 on studying marketing anymore. not sure about studying anything anymore, I don't think i want to or could stand to. so have called defense force recruiting and asked them about their policy on medical conditions etc. Am also preparing to apply for federal police so I took the Driver Qualification Test today and passed, thank god, to get my full licence. Just need to type up a good resume, upload it, then press 'submit'.
In other news, I got drunk at Rose's house on Friday night and had a pash with Kuba after taking lessons on how to drink vodka which actually led to my throwing up on my skirt, which I haven't washed yet, which Pam thinks is gross.
I have bought a few scratchies lately, thinking it might happen. If $25000 came my way today, I would be gone by next week! ¶ 13:28 0 Comments
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
The Last Time I Got Excited About My Birthday
Age: 5
Best friend: Ella
Occupation: student
Majors: Reading, addition and subtraction, "gross motor" as it was called.
Interests/hobbies: watching Play School and Teaspoon, bikeriding through the Westie streets of Liverpool on the weekend after being made to hang up my stepmother's washing
In three weeks I will be on the Pathetic side of 21. Speaking of slippery slopes.
Unfortunately my ambition to be the next female 006.5 has reemerged in all it's former glory and I spend hours everyday wondering whether it would be worth trying. Parting with my little baby that I nurtured for so many years, the baby that was me and John sharing a future toghether somehow, would leave a terrible void in my heart and there's nothing else I much want to do, sadly enough. Hence the ' don't care what I do anymore' sentiments. It's common for schizophrenics to have obsessions. And here I am.
Registered for the dole yesterday. If I don't 'get a job' in a month, they start asking questions. So that covers me for a month but then I'm on my ow-ow-own.
Man, I got an email from Rob in Taiwan asking me how Beijing was. Christ, it's been over a year. I didn't know who he was and thought I'd have to say 'sorry, but who are you' but from the previous emails included in it I concluded that it was Rob who got me the job at Gram. Wow man, blast from the past. I think he still thinks I'm in Taiwan or something.
Lots of love,
Lizwa ¶ 17:49 0 Comments
Age: 5
Best friend: Ella
Occupation: student
Majors: Reading, addition and subtraction, "gross motor" as it was called.
Interests/hobbies: watching Play School and Teaspoon, bikeriding through the Westie streets of Liverpool on the weekend after being made to hang up my stepmother's washing
In three weeks I will be on the Pathetic side of 21. Speaking of slippery slopes.
Unfortunately my ambition to be the next female 006.5 has reemerged in all it's former glory and I spend hours everyday wondering whether it would be worth trying. Parting with my little baby that I nurtured for so many years, the baby that was me and John sharing a future toghether somehow, would leave a terrible void in my heart and there's nothing else I much want to do, sadly enough. Hence the ' don't care what I do anymore' sentiments. It's common for schizophrenics to have obsessions. And here I am.
Registered for the dole yesterday. If I don't 'get a job' in a month, they start asking questions. So that covers me for a month but then I'm on my ow-ow-own.
Man, I got an email from Rob in Taiwan asking me how Beijing was. Christ, it's been over a year. I didn't know who he was and thought I'd have to say 'sorry, but who are you' but from the previous emails included in it I concluded that it was Rob who got me the job at Gram. Wow man, blast from the past. I think he still thinks I'm in Taiwan or something.
Lots of love,
Lizwa ¶ 17:49 0 Comments
