Sunday, May 23, 2004
Ask Gretel
Dear Gretel,
Help! I've befriended a psycho. She's a little on the passive-aggressive side and she gives strange explanations for the strange things she does. While I was totally excited, she got upset when I bought a scooter because to her it meant I wouldn't rely on her anymore, but the thing is, I never did. She said the worst day of her life was when her hamster died ten years ago, and she's never gotten over it. I think its unhealthy for me to spend any more time with her due to the way she thinks and behaves but I don't know what to do. She never showers or washes her clothes and its unpleasant to be near her. She told me the others had been organising a surprise party for me, apparently because she wanted me to get my hopes up. But the thing is, I never asked or indicated that I needed to get my hopes up. I hadn't thought twice about my birthday celebrations, only that I wanted to go out and drink like I normally do every weekend. I told her I thought it was a bit strange that she would do that, and her explanations shifted between denying that she played a cruel joke on me and apologising for doing it and saying it was about "her", not "me". I had no idea what she was talking about but the point is she messed me up on my birthday and I felt completely unsettled for the rest of the weekend. She is also quite nosy about people she doesn't talk to and I often wonder why she wants to know the exact day and time that so and so broke up with so and so, why so and so didn't come out on Friday etc, when she does not socialise with any of these people nor goes out on the weekends herself. She is obsessed with the dynamics of the group at school but claims she is seperate from everyone else and does not care. She deliberately pushes questions that make me feel uneasy and while at first I thought I had found someone I could really talk to, I now feel that she prefers to create problems and make me feel like I have them when in fact there is nothing wrong. We used to talk about kids and how important it is to protect them from the things that can happen to them during childhood. She said she had a huge secret about what happened to her, so bad that I could never imagine what it was, and so bad that she couldn't tell me. So I said fair enough, I probably don't want to know, and didn't ask her. But she said she had decided to tell me, so I listened. This big event in her life, which was supposed to have messed her up forever, was the death of her hamster when she was a teenager. There I was thinking she had murdered someone and gone to jail or something so serious that she could never tell anyone. I have known she is a bit odd for a while but now that it has directly affected my comfort and wellbeing I think I need to distance myself from her. But how? She has noone else here in Paraguay and I hate being dishonest and making up lies to avoid being around her.
Unsettled,
Billy
¶ 23:58
Dear Gretel,
Help! I've befriended a psycho. She's a little on the passive-aggressive side and she gives strange explanations for the strange things she does. While I was totally excited, she got upset when I bought a scooter because to her it meant I wouldn't rely on her anymore, but the thing is, I never did. She said the worst day of her life was when her hamster died ten years ago, and she's never gotten over it. I think its unhealthy for me to spend any more time with her due to the way she thinks and behaves but I don't know what to do. She never showers or washes her clothes and its unpleasant to be near her. She told me the others had been organising a surprise party for me, apparently because she wanted me to get my hopes up. But the thing is, I never asked or indicated that I needed to get my hopes up. I hadn't thought twice about my birthday celebrations, only that I wanted to go out and drink like I normally do every weekend. I told her I thought it was a bit strange that she would do that, and her explanations shifted between denying that she played a cruel joke on me and apologising for doing it and saying it was about "her", not "me". I had no idea what she was talking about but the point is she messed me up on my birthday and I felt completely unsettled for the rest of the weekend. She is also quite nosy about people she doesn't talk to and I often wonder why she wants to know the exact day and time that so and so broke up with so and so, why so and so didn't come out on Friday etc, when she does not socialise with any of these people nor goes out on the weekends herself. She is obsessed with the dynamics of the group at school but claims she is seperate from everyone else and does not care. She deliberately pushes questions that make me feel uneasy and while at first I thought I had found someone I could really talk to, I now feel that she prefers to create problems and make me feel like I have them when in fact there is nothing wrong. We used to talk about kids and how important it is to protect them from the things that can happen to them during childhood. She said she had a huge secret about what happened to her, so bad that I could never imagine what it was, and so bad that she couldn't tell me. So I said fair enough, I probably don't want to know, and didn't ask her. But she said she had decided to tell me, so I listened. This big event in her life, which was supposed to have messed her up forever, was the death of her hamster when she was a teenager. There I was thinking she had murdered someone and gone to jail or something so serious that she could never tell anyone. I have known she is a bit odd for a while but now that it has directly affected my comfort and wellbeing I think I need to distance myself from her. But how? She has noone else here in Paraguay and I hate being dishonest and making up lies to avoid being around her.
Unsettled,
Billy
¶ 23:58
