I started the subbing job today. Rob was supposed to get someone with experience and they were a little skeptical about me so I made up for it by being extra cool and friendly to distract them. It was going swimmingly until the 2-hour long Adult class at 7. I was all geared up to teach these people the ins and outs of the Present Simple. I had spent all day thinking about how I was going to explain the difference between 'I'm going' and 'I go' and studying the whole chapter so I wouldn't run out of stuff to throw at them. So I walk in and five minutes into the class I realise these people cannot speak any English at all and I was prematurely hit with the realisation that my philosophical musings of the differences between 'I Go' and 'I'm Going' would never be appreciated tonight. Half an hour into the class, I realised that half of them did not know how to tell the time, which was vital to the lesson I was supposed to give. So I filled the board with scribbled clocks and pie graphs and explanations of the origins of 'o'clock' until the smart-ass antics of the elementary school teacher who actually teaches English for a living (is there a god?) finally got on my nerves and stayed there and I made them all shut up and do a workbook exercise for 10 minutes.

The boss was watching the whole thing, and this chick that works at the school who also participates in the adult classes TAPED THE LESSON. I can see it now: They play it back and all you hear is "So um... do you find this easy or difficult? Do you understand? (and to the know-it-all school teacher:) This textbook does not place a hyphon between two and thirty because in Taiwan these days only American English is taught, and American English has been simplified to increase literacy rates in the US thereby benefitting the nation as a whole" (not that she gave a sh/t - she asked me if Australians originally immigrated from America or from England. Thanks man, you f/cking bimbo bitch, get a f/cking EDUCATION for f/ck's sake - she's responsible for teaching the Taiwanese youth of today?)... Followed by silence, seeing as though none of them understand the words 'easy', 'difficult', or 'understand'. [Insert two pages of further whining and complaining here] That woman reminds me of the time Qili was asked by some old hag what it feels like to live in a communist country. Qili is from East Germany and is my age.   ¶ 00:03