Sunday, January 02, 2005
I was completely inspired by the weird blog that was referred to in that comment. You want mad?
The time had come for Betty to go and clean out the fridge. But alas, her phone sounded the Beep of Glory, and she rushed to read the sacred message. It was from God. She didn't even realise she had his number in her phone. 'Cool!,' she thought, 'I've got his number!' It said, 'where r u? Im horny.' Then she realised it was actually from Dave, who had put his number in under a different name. She decided to go for a drink. Her friends were sitting at a table in the corner, busy discussing scooters and generally just talking themselves up. At the bar she started a conversation with a man named Human. "Hi, I'm Betty," said Betty. "Hi, I'm Human." "I would never have guessed, to tell you the truth," she replied. "I get that all the time."
Jane thought the name suited him. He had no face, just a blank space where his face would be, and the rest of his body was kind of see-through except that you could see his heart beating inside. "I like your heart," she said. She couldn't think of anything else to say. "Thanks. It's looking for a language exchange partner, actually. Do you know of anyone that would be interested?" "Your heart's looking for what?" She ordered another drink. "Oh, never mind."
Suddenly the music stopped and the lights came on. The bar guy wanted to make an announcement. "Can I have your attention please." Everyone turned to look, including the friends in the corner who were busy talking about the last time they had decent Spanish food, but were in fact wishing to express how trendy they were that they knew all about Spanish food. "I would like to announce that everyone owes me two dollars." Human's heart began beating faster inside his body and everyone noticed. "Look!" They cried. "His heart is beating faster! Maybe he doesn't have two dollars?" "Of course he has two dollars! He just doesn't have any pockets to keep it in!" Human remained silent.
Dave walked into the bar. Betty swivelled around to greet him. "Dave, why are you wearing a leather jacket and why do you have your hair gelled over to look like Danny from Grease?" "I don't look like Danny from Grease. But I'll tell you who does. That guy over there!" He pointed to a man sitting by the window. He looked a bit like Danny from Grease. The girl next to him looked like Sandy, and there was a pink pom-pom lying on the ground near her feet. "Betty," said Dave, "you're the one that I want." The pink pom-pom spontaneously combusted at Sandy's feet and a small pile of ash was left behind.
¶ 04:10
The time had come for Betty to go and clean out the fridge. But alas, her phone sounded the Beep of Glory, and she rushed to read the sacred message. It was from God. She didn't even realise she had his number in her phone. 'Cool!,' she thought, 'I've got his number!' It said, 'where r u? Im horny.' Then she realised it was actually from Dave, who had put his number in under a different name. She decided to go for a drink. Her friends were sitting at a table in the corner, busy discussing scooters and generally just talking themselves up. At the bar she started a conversation with a man named Human. "Hi, I'm Betty," said Betty. "Hi, I'm Human." "I would never have guessed, to tell you the truth," she replied. "I get that all the time."
Jane thought the name suited him. He had no face, just a blank space where his face would be, and the rest of his body was kind of see-through except that you could see his heart beating inside. "I like your heart," she said. She couldn't think of anything else to say. "Thanks. It's looking for a language exchange partner, actually. Do you know of anyone that would be interested?" "Your heart's looking for what?" She ordered another drink. "Oh, never mind."
Suddenly the music stopped and the lights came on. The bar guy wanted to make an announcement. "Can I have your attention please." Everyone turned to look, including the friends in the corner who were busy talking about the last time they had decent Spanish food, but were in fact wishing to express how trendy they were that they knew all about Spanish food. "I would like to announce that everyone owes me two dollars." Human's heart began beating faster inside his body and everyone noticed. "Look!" They cried. "His heart is beating faster! Maybe he doesn't have two dollars?" "Of course he has two dollars! He just doesn't have any pockets to keep it in!" Human remained silent.
Dave walked into the bar. Betty swivelled around to greet him. "Dave, why are you wearing a leather jacket and why do you have your hair gelled over to look like Danny from Grease?" "I don't look like Danny from Grease. But I'll tell you who does. That guy over there!" He pointed to a man sitting by the window. He looked a bit like Danny from Grease. The girl next to him looked like Sandy, and there was a pink pom-pom lying on the ground near her feet. "Betty," said Dave, "you're the one that I want." The pink pom-pom spontaneously combusted at Sandy's feet and a small pile of ash was left behind.
¶ 04:10
