Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Tumut
It's 1pm which means 23.5 hours till I arrive in Gundagai. This is my official countdown program:
1:30 Drink apple juice
3:30 Try to read but give in to unrelated contemplative thoughts
4:30 Try to explain for the 57th time what it's like to be mad to my Mum. Maybe I should abuse my blog using it solely for this purpose. Still thinks psychosis is a mood thing. Try, 'COMPLETELY INSANE'. Yes, it happened to someone you know!
6:00 Watch The Simpsons
7:00 Finish packing and get into pj's.
4:00 Have breakfast.
5:00 Get on train to Central
7:30 Get on bus. Yippee!
1:30pm Fun fun fun!
Madness Chapter 1
I think I need to expand on the concept of losing contact with reality. What does that mean? OK. Let's start with examples. Close your eyes and imagine. One of your many delusions is that your family has placed random things around the house in special positions so that you can infer a special meaning from each object. Let's say there's a grey clock sitting on the table. When you see that grey clock, it means someone is trying to tell you that you need to address the grey areas between concepts that seem to be in black and white. Basic Delusions 101. Once you are fully psychotic, you are unaware that you are having 'delusions'. It may sound hard to believe, but you truly believe that someone placed that clock there to try to tell you something. Or you start suffering from involuntary movements in the face. You believe in was one of your best friends who has supernatural powers, then ask her not to come and visit you. You must always believe someone who is doing their best to explain their odd behaviour while psychotic. Nobody is trying to make excuses. Just telling it like it is. Do not try to analyse someone's behaviour yourself and try to make your own sense of it. It will make no sense to anyone except to the person that is psychotic themselves. This, my friends, is the nature of madness.
So what about delusions. Your brain hops from one to the other. Some are somehow related to themes that occur in real life. Your eyes see random objects, cars, driving by, someone walking past with a coffee in their hands, a CD jutting out of a hard drive, and turns these occurences into 'clues' that your brain takes into account when it develops complicated and involved delusional theories about things like the reason you seem to be locked up in jail. In my case, I had trouble deciding which reason was 'true' as to why I was in hospital:
a) It was a sick joke
b) I was going to be tested on my endurance of torture
c) This was a polite way of being put in jail while I was defending myself at a trial
Guess what never occurred to me? That I was having a psychotic episode.
OK will write more later. Will write a book on it. Anything to get it into people's heads that not all psyhciatric problems are mood-related. ¶ 12:53
It's 1pm which means 23.5 hours till I arrive in Gundagai. This is my official countdown program:
1:30 Drink apple juice
3:30 Try to read but give in to unrelated contemplative thoughts
4:30 Try to explain for the 57th time what it's like to be mad to my Mum. Maybe I should abuse my blog using it solely for this purpose. Still thinks psychosis is a mood thing. Try, 'COMPLETELY INSANE'. Yes, it happened to someone you know!
6:00 Watch The Simpsons
7:00 Finish packing and get into pj's.
4:00 Have breakfast.
5:00 Get on train to Central
7:30 Get on bus. Yippee!
1:30pm Fun fun fun!
Madness Chapter 1
I think I need to expand on the concept of losing contact with reality. What does that mean? OK. Let's start with examples. Close your eyes and imagine. One of your many delusions is that your family has placed random things around the house in special positions so that you can infer a special meaning from each object. Let's say there's a grey clock sitting on the table. When you see that grey clock, it means someone is trying to tell you that you need to address the grey areas between concepts that seem to be in black and white. Basic Delusions 101. Once you are fully psychotic, you are unaware that you are having 'delusions'. It may sound hard to believe, but you truly believe that someone placed that clock there to try to tell you something. Or you start suffering from involuntary movements in the face. You believe in was one of your best friends who has supernatural powers, then ask her not to come and visit you. You must always believe someone who is doing their best to explain their odd behaviour while psychotic. Nobody is trying to make excuses. Just telling it like it is. Do not try to analyse someone's behaviour yourself and try to make your own sense of it. It will make no sense to anyone except to the person that is psychotic themselves. This, my friends, is the nature of madness.
So what about delusions. Your brain hops from one to the other. Some are somehow related to themes that occur in real life. Your eyes see random objects, cars, driving by, someone walking past with a coffee in their hands, a CD jutting out of a hard drive, and turns these occurences into 'clues' that your brain takes into account when it develops complicated and involved delusional theories about things like the reason you seem to be locked up in jail. In my case, I had trouble deciding which reason was 'true' as to why I was in hospital:
a) It was a sick joke
b) I was going to be tested on my endurance of torture
c) This was a polite way of being put in jail while I was defending myself at a trial
Guess what never occurred to me? That I was having a psychotic episode.
OK will write more later. Will write a book on it. Anything to get it into people's heads that not all psyhciatric problems are mood-related. ¶ 12:53
